Wedding Attendants
The typical
shoes. But in what order do they stand? How do you choose who's who? How many do you need? How do you pair them up? And what are their responsibilities? This guide tells all.
The Roles
Other Attendants
* '''Ushers '''be groomsmen are perfect people to be ushers. Their job is to help the elderly, direct guests to their seats, and sometimes hand out programs. This role can be filled by the groomsmen too. Remember that you need one usher per 50 guests.
* '''Train Bearers/Pages''' dress'>wedding dress with a very long train.
* '''Shushavim''' This is the term used for attendants for Jewish weddings. These people usually fill the same roles as bridesmaids or groomsmen.
* '''Chuppah Carriers''' These are close friends or family that help carry the
chuppah in Jewish ceremonies.
* '''Candle Lighters''' In Christian ceremonies, these are the young kids who help light the candles before the ceremony. Usually they are nine to 12 years old.
* '''Guest Book Attendant ''' This is someone who stands by the guest book and gets people to sign it.
* '''Officiant''' Officiant'>Choosing an Officiant.
* '''Readers and Singers''' If you don't want to spend money to hire people to perform at your ceremony, you might consider asking a talented family member to help out. It will give them a chance to be part of the event and showcase their skills.
How Many?
* There is no strict rule on how many attendants you can or can't have. However, the minimum is two (your maid of honor and best man to serve as witnesses) and the maximum is usually 12, sometimes 15, not including flower girls or ring bearers.
* Typically, the larger the wedding, the more attendants there are. Usually there is one bridesmaid or groomsman per 50 guests. However, this is very flexible and you can always bend the rules.
* Select as many attendants as you need to fill out the space, but don't choose so many that the ceremony space seems cramped.
* There should be an equal number of bridesmaids as groomsmen, but sometimes it's just not feasible and there is no problem with that.
Choosing
Choosing becomes hardest when you have many people that are close and important to you. It's hard to imagine having to leave out a certain friend or extended relative, but sometimes you have to. If you become faced with a sticky situation, such as deciding between your gal pals and female family members, try to make the bridal party either all friends or all family. That way you can easily let down those that you can't include and it will be less likely to stir up trouble.
* '''Be sensitive'''. People who feel left out can be hurt by your actions and words. So, let people down easily. Try and explain your reasoning, listen to them when they need to talk about it, and try your best to keep them an active part of your life by including them in the wedding events. You might even have them do something else at the wedding, such as hand out programs, read, or man the guest book table.
* '''Choose wisely'''. Choose those who are most important to you now and those who will remain as important a year to five years from now. That can help weed out people from your list of potential attendants. Don't select someone to be in your bridal party simply because they chose you. It's not about returning favors, but about finding people to properly fill the role.
* '''Consider your needs'''. Will the people that you want to select be man enough to handle the job? If all you want is for them to smile and look pretty, that's one thing. However, if you need your attendants to really go the extra mile for you when you need it, no questions asked, will they be able to give you their all?
* '''Consider his/her needs'''. Remember that being part of the wedding party requires a lot from people. While they get to be a part of the wedding, they also take on a financial burden since they must furnish all their own attire and accessories. They are also putting out money for the parties that they throw for the bride and groom, not to mention gifts, traveling to the wedding, and paying for lodging while at the wedding. If you feel that someone you'd like to have either won't be able to afford it or be able to make it because of the distance which he or she will be required to travel, invite the person anyway. Perhaps you can help out financially if it's needed. Just keep this secret between you and the attendant. It wouldn't be fair to the others and it may make the needy attendant feel singled out.
* '''Bridesmen and groomswomen?''' If your closest friends or family is not of the right sex to fill the role, don't think that you can't include them. More and more people are using whichever person suits the role best regardless of their sex.
* '''Keep it in the family'''. It's always a good idea to include in-laws in the bridal party. It helps create a better bond and eases any tensions.
Announcing People's Roles
So you've chosen the bridal party. Let everyone know about their new role in your wedding by hosting a little party to give them the good news. This also gives people a chance to get to know each other better. If you already have enough on your plate and you can't quite imagine planning yet another event, consider calling people up to tell them or sending special cards.
